[READ PART ONE, DO NOT READ ANY FFT POST UNTIL YOU HAVE READ ITS MISSION STATEMENT AND CHECK OUT FFT'S BACK PAGE, FLORIDA WATCH, WHICH UPDATES ON FRIDAYS ... NOW GO AND ENJOY THE FEUD!]
Part 2 is ready to spray it all over your glasses … Boom!
The White Bags of Shit reveal that they are from Rancho Cucamonga (don’t care enough to look up how that is really spelled), CA and the All Whites are still from the bowels of Hell, as they replayed their lovely song.
All Whites playing for: $22,000
White Bags of Shit playing for: $18,000
100 people surveyed, top eight answers on the board – name something that would be painful to have removed from your body …
Ricky looking about as dignified as he possibly can.
Ricky, All Whites: “a piercing” (strike – I … can’t keep coming up with shit for Ricky for much longer)
Joey, Bags of Shit: “tattoo” (#1 – this guy is like Ricky Light, he sounded like a really excited Mongoloid when he made his proclomation)
[Bags of Shit control]
Erin: “ingrown toenail” (#7 – I feel like I am takinig crazy pills, as I thought that answer was dogshit … how about a limb?)
Amy: “a baby” (strike – Amy says this because she is pregnant, lame and thinks she’s really clever right now)
Christie: “a leg” (strike – dude, what the fuck? I guess America doesn’t share my irrational fear of accidental amputation …)
Mike: “Appendix” (#8 – I had my appendix removed and felt almost no pain)
Durr ... my name ers Joey ... durr ...
Joey: “sutures” (strike – it should be pointed out that any grown man who calls himself “Joey” – or “Ricky” – instead of the other more adult options should A) not be the leader of your family on the Feud; and B) be awarded an automatic 40-point IQ cut when encountered).
[Control goes to All Whites, for the steal]
Ricky: “tooth” (#5 – celebratory retard jump!)
Other answers: “hair” (#2 – what? #2? What the fuck …?), “mole” (#3), “wart” (#4), “tumor” (#6 – is it me, or do these last three not have relatively painless removal processes, these days? A leg, however, comes off and causes a few pain issues … I hate the American public)
All Whites: 37
The Flaming White Bag of Shit: 0
Point values doubled, 100 people surveyed, top eight answers on the board – name an animal that can kill with its bite …
Marla, All Whites: “bear” (#4)
Erin, Shit Bags: “snake” (#1)
[Control to Shit Bags]
Amy: “crocodile” (#5 – across the room, Ricky thinks, “that thing in my Daddy’s pants!”)
Christie: “lion” (#3 )
Mike: “shark” (#6 – two spots after a bear … I seriously think this country has finally gone ‘tarded … man, I am making fun of retards a lot in this blog … see what happens when you take race wars out of your show, Family Feud? Retards suffer. It’s you who is mocking retards, Feud – not me. O’Hurley is ashamed to be a part of your non-racist, retard-hating charade!)
Joey: “cheetah” (strike – aside from this being dumb, I enjoyed this answer because I pictured Joey, technically a 30-year old man, arguing with his friends about which animal would win in a race, a cheetah or a puma and him being like, “cheetahs are the superduper-fasterest and you buttheads are stupid faces! Now get out of my treehouse!”)
Erin: “spider” (strike – much better than cheetah and preposterous that it is not in this confounded survey of braindead dolts)
Amy: “pit bull” (strike – better answer would have been “Michael Vick” … no? We’re over Michael Vick jokes? And that wasn’t even a good/functional Vick joke to begin with? Ok … sorry … I’m gonna go hide in Joey’s treehouse)
[Control to All Whites, for the steal]
Ricky: “tiger” (#2 – incidentally, Ricky went over and asked Joey if he wanted to come over and … I have no clue what 10 year olds do anymore … trade Pokemon cards? Was that like 1999, or is that still going on? Get back to me … oh, and also, when Ricky gave his answer, he prefaced with, “lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” Not kidding)
Other answers: “scorpion” (#7), “wolf” (#8)
All Whites: 185
Shit Bags: 0
Point values tripled, 100 people surveyed, top eight answers on the board – name something that newlyweds are not used to sharing …
This is amazing, Kevin from the All Whites – another dude that looks like a child in a man’s body – replied with the answer a 10-year old boy would give …
Kevin, All Whites: “a bed!” (#1 – at least there are a proud few out there who are still not living in sin before being wed … unlike the Feudman … we can add the Kevster to Ricky and Joey’s slumber party, btw … O’Hurley will pass, in favor of hosting his annual Silver Fox Sex Camp, which happens in his bedroom and consists of he and 15 female USC freshman doing things to each other that even Tommy Lee shies away from)
"You got a danish on you, O'Hurley?"
Larry: “holidays” (strike – hey Larry, you’re fat and dumb)
Diane: “toothpaste” (strike – really, Diane? It was a horrible adjustment for you to begin squeezing goo out of the same tube as your obese husband? I would be more worried about sharing a toilet with that lardass … Feudman getting angry …).
Ricky: “bathroom” (#2 – oh no, I just gave the same answer as Ricky … which means … I’ll be there and I’m bringing the Pokemon shit!)
Marla: “money” (#3)
Kevbo: “house” (#5)
Larry: “cooking” (strike – yes, Diane was totally unprepared for the task of crafting eight meals a day for her ravenous husband at the time of their marriage, but now she’s making do)
[Control to Bags of Shit]
Joey: “chores” (strike – Joey, it’s newlyweds, not your “stupid dorkface kid sister”)
Other answers: “toothbrush” (#4 – who shares toothbrushes? Gross), “secrets” (#6), “closet” (#7), “time” (#8)
All Whites: 431
The Flaming White Bag of Shit: 0
Congratulations to the Flaming White Bag of Shit for getting shutout by a family with the combined mental capacity of a fish tank – you really did yourselves a shameful disservice and I’m proud of you.
Tomorrow … we … play … Fast Money … with a family of morons … my friends … stay tuned!
