The Family Feud is a (hilariously) racist television program that pits families of differing races up against each other and challenges them to guess how 100 randomly surveyed Americans responded to certain questions, completely ignoring the fact that the answers will obviously be very closely tied to the culture in which each survey respondent lives his/her life – since the nation is 79.8% White, 15.4% Hispanic, 12.8% Black and 4.5% Asian (I know that is more than 100% – certain mixed-race people can be counted as both), the game is obviously heavily tilted towards Whites.
In spite of the reality that only 12.8% of the country is black, 50% of all Family Feud families are black – suggesting that research tells that black people represent 50% of this nation’s population of people who are home and watching television at noon on a weekday (we at FFT do endorse or deny the validity of these findings).
Further, despite the fact that roughly 80% of the families on the show come from the greater Los Angeles area – a region with a population that is majority Hispanic (to be fair, you do have to be able to speak English to play the Feud) and that has more Asians than Blacks – the show is almost always Black vs. White, with the White family winning 90-95% of the time and the few black families who do sneak through perfecting the art of the Bafflingly Horrible Black Family Fast Money Attempt (BHBFFMA – if you told me that no black family in history had won Fast Money, I would completely believe it).
On top of that, this reporter has watched more Family Feud than you can shake a slave whip at without ever seeing a Black family win two days in a row (UPDATE: this has now proven to be untrue on several occasions since the inception of this blog and the goal of the blog has now shifted more toward the mystifying magic of the BHBFFMA and the general, unabashed “race wars” theme to which the Feud producers very strictly adhere).
All of these facts make for racist hilarity – not in an, “I enjoy this because I am racist” type of way, but in an, “I can’t believe how amazingly racist this is!” type of way – and this blog plans to exploit said hilarity by providing witty/sophomoric/playfully racist reactions to what goes down.
Am I a racist? Not overtly. However, much like living in New Orleans for more than two weeks, Family Feud has a way of making a person racist while within the spectrum of the experience.
Much like Adam Carolla, I believe that our society has become far too politically correct and I think that it is perfectly fine to briefly celebrate the indefensible, race-driven thoughts that enter in to my head. I know it is wrong to think these things, but I also think it is funny.
Sue me … wait, please don’t sue me.
Anyway, in order to police myself, I have instituted the Weekly Racist Comment That Likely Seals My Fate in Hell, as a means of recognizing my own white guilt for thinking racist things are sometimes funny.
And, believe me, I lay in to idiot white families with as much – and often more – fervor as I do the black ones.
Come along with me, friends – let’s play the Feud.
CLOSING NOTE:
John O’Hurley is the greatest Feud host since Richard Dawson – suck it, Ray Combs – and is extremely revered by FFT. His natty suits, sharp ties, quick wit, velvety voice and general air of debonair soothes our loins in a way that is uncomfortable for us to talk about in our psychiatrist’s office. Point being, to us, he is more important than Jesus (especially since O’Hurley is real and Jesus is made up).
Oh, John – you can make some Fast Money off of me any time.
